


Wasted Youth

by FishPrincess



Series: HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 3 [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, F/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Vampire Turning, Violence, characters related in canon not related here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-23 01:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2529158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FishPrincess/pseuds/FishPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose is a vampire. She doesn't like it as much as she thought she would. She's downright miserable. She wishes she could die. She confides in Dave. There is no happy ending. For HSWC Bonus Round 3. A response to a prompt by shianneurami.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wasted Youth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShianneUrami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShianneUrami/gifts).



“Rose? Hey. I know my house is the shit and all, but-”

You hear him from behind, you feel his heavy gaze against your back as you stare blankly at a poster he has hung in his living room. Every little piece of ironic décor gives you an escape, something to mock, something to hide behind. You’re desperate at this point to deter the conversation, but a part of you wants to tell him everything.

“I’m afraid to tell you your home surpasses the level of ‘the shit and all.’ What a way to underestimate its true value.”

You can hear his heart thumping in your head, loud and clear. All you can imagine is the way his blood runs red underneath his fair skin. It calls to you in a fashion that deeply upsets your human roots, and it makes you want to vomit. It is a conflict of interest in a swirling vortex of absolutely nothing.

“Not that speaking in riddles is an all-around shitty thing, but it would help if you actually, I don’t know, said what you felt.”

How do you begin to tell a friend that you don’t want to live anymore, that you despise your chosen route of immortality because it has stolen from you the only solace you can imagine. You have taken everything you wanted, you have filled yourself up with bottles and bottles of alcoholic nothings, you have chased the trails of your adrenaline by reckless speeding on dark roads, and you have challenged the world to end you time after time…but it has not.

You have sought the company of the dark and tainted because of your inability to fear, your inability to care. You have won them over with intelligent words partnered with coy banter, all intricate and delicately placed like that of poetry. You told them you could aid them, that you never belonged here, there, or anywhere, so you must belong as one of them. You thought you had nothing to lose, when indeed you had everything, and your request was accepted.

And your entire world was ripped out from beneath your feet before you could realize it existed.

The lens in which you see the world has poisoned you; it has given you an insatiable lust to kill and feed upon the ones that you love. Like Dave. He has no idea how to reach out to you, how to get through, but you can see beneath his stoic demeanor the curve of his eyebrow that makes it plain how badly he wants to get to you. You left him behind, but you are here now with your hands trembling.

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe try somewhere in the middle of hauntingly vague and verbose bullshit.”

There is a silence between you, and you wonder where you went wrong. At what point did you edge away from a path of conformism, when did you stop enjoying dolls and when did you start asking questions? You constantly dug for answers; you read book upon book concerning information that no longer matters to you in this present moment. You realize that you cannot place your finger on the exact point in which you lost your way. When you went to high school, you could have been so much more than this. You could have dated boys and gone to dances and lived in an ignorant, stupid bliss. You could have been stupidly pathetic and enjoyed every single fucking minute.

But now you are here, and he is here, and you hear his footsteps drag along the carpet to get to you, to get through to you. And you want to tell him everything, but you also want to rip his apart with your bear teeth and feast upon him until he is absolutely nothing. The moment you turn toward him, he knows what you are, what you have become. He has been waiting with baited breath to take a vampire down in some kind of heroic venture. He can see the struggle in the thin violet of your eyes, and yet he is more than prepared for the lunge you make in his direction. He dodges you only to tackle you to the ground, his chin pressed against the back of your head.

“You need to run,” you say, nearly hissing through your sharp teeth. The carpet tickles your tongue as you speak. Your voice cracks, and both of you are supposed to be professionals at appearing apathetic and in control.

“I’d only run right back in here,” he says, and his voice cracks, too. Defenses down, both of you are capable of killing the other in an instant. His training in modern combat provides him with the knowledge to snap your neck in a second. “I’m not moving a fucking inch. We can stay here forever, watch this place get eaten up by mold and termites, like the slowest movie you’ve ever seen.”

Your shoulders slump, resigned, but the pounding in your head makes it difficult to hear anything else. With him right up against you, you want to kiss him, you want to hold him, and you want to kill him.

“If you go down, you’re taking me with you.”

You think you feel a single drop against the back of your shirt, but you can’t be completely sure. His voice tickles the hairs on the back of your neck, exposed by the short length of your blonde hair.

“No.”

“I know you don’t want to rip me apart, not like that, anyway. You don’t want to kill me. Turn me.”

You lie there the entire night, and he breathes in your ear. When the morning comes, you know what you will do.

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you have nothing left. With a nod of your head, he rolls off of you, and you crawl on your knees to kiss him hard on the mouth. When you pull away, you begin the process, and this is the first time that you have ever heard him scream.


End file.
